December 3, 2017

Greetings from Connecticut Berkshires, where I am attending a conference!

I regret that I won’t be able to be with you all in Sacramento for Shabbot this week, but I’m leaving you in good hands. On Shabbat morning, in my absence, Nathan Weisberg will be giving a very interesting and topical drasha relating to the history of one piece of our liturgy.

I have been meditating on a teaching from Rav Kook, which my colleague R. Zach Truboff, of the Cedar Sinai Synagogue in Cleveland, Ohio, recently quoted in a piece he wrote for the Times of Israel  blog (http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/putting-out-the-flames-of-hate/). R. Kook writes:

“We must hate and reject all anger with the very depths of our being. We must do so with restraint, but we must hate the roiling anger that confuses the mind and invalidates all the great potential within human beings both individuals and the collective. When we see a political or religious group that always speaks with anger, this is a sign that it has no true knowledge. It has no inner content with what to fill the emptiness contained within it. In truth it is furious with itself and its own deficiencies, but egoism comes and make it place the blame and the poison of anger towards others.” (Shemoneh Kevatzim 3:134)

Kook takes a strong stand against anger. If we are not to give in to anger, how then are we to respond when bad things happen, either to us personally, or in the world? How are we to respond when things aren’t going the way we think they ought? This week our parasha presents us with a few models to use for coping with adverse circumstances.

At one extreme, we have Yitzchak, who throughout his life, from beginning to end, simply submits to whatever comes. He submits to being offered on the altar by his father. When famine comes, he submits to God’s decree that he not leave the land. When Avimelekh, the king of the Philistines, banishes him, he leaves. When Avimelekh wants to make a treaty with him, Yitzchak agrees. When Avimelekh’s servants fight with Yitzchak over wells that he dug, he moves on and digs new ones. Even when his son Jacob steals the blessing he intended for Esav, Yitzchak submits, saying simply, “I blessed him; now he will remain blessed.”

Rivkah represents a very difficult way of coping with adverse circumstances. Rivkah takes matters into her own hands to try to change the outcome of events – not by confronting them head on, but through political maneuvering and manipulation. When she realizes that Yitzchak wants to bless the wrong son, Esav, though she knows Ya’akov is destined to receive the blessing, instead of confronting Yitzchak or trying to get him to change his mind, she simply gets Yaakov to dress up as Esav to steal the blessing. When Esav, in his anger, threatens to kill Yaakov, instead of punishing or restraining Esav, Rivkah simply convinces Yaakov to get out of town, but misleads Yitzchak, her husband about why she wants him out of town.

Both of these approaches carry risks. When we adopt Yitzchak’s submissiveness, keeping our head down and not letting things provoke us, we risk submitting to things that we should not be subject to, potentially allowing injustice and evil to prevail. On the other hand, when we approach things with Rivkah’s cunning, we risk adopting unsavory means that are not justified by the good ends they may serve.

It is worth noting that Esav, the only person in our parasha who adopts the approach of anger, is the person who does not get what he wants, and who loses his blessing and his birthright. While we might think that Esav gets angry because he loses these things, I would suggest perhaps the causation works in reverse – that he was condemned to lose the blessing because he gave in to anger. Spiritual and material blessing, according to our parasha rightfully belong to those who, like Ya`akov, know when to submit or when to try and change events, but who don’t waste time on anger and vengeance.

When things do not go our way, when something happens in our own lives or the world at large that is upsetting or disappointing, we have three choices—we can get angry, we can accept the new reality, or we can try to change that reality.

May we all merit to receive many blessings, including that of knowing how to respond appropriately to adversity.

Rabbi Garth Silberstein