Parshat Vayigash, January 7, 2017

Our parsha this week opens with the famous moment when Yehudah stands up to Yosef (whom he does not yet realize is his brother) to plea for Binyamin’s freedom and offer to give himself up to save Binyamin. Yehudah begins by asking permission to speak and saying, “please do not be angry with your servant.”

Rashi says that from the fact that Yehudah asks Yosef not to be angry, we can infer that Yehudah spoke harshly, in a way that he could reasonably assume might provoke anger in Yosef. Rashi’s assumption seems to be someone would not say, “don’t be angry,” if they weren’t behaving in a way that might provoke anger.

This is not the first time we see someone speak this way. Way back in Parshat Vayeira, Avraham uses the same phrase when pleading with God to spare the cities of Sodom and Gomorra. Interestingly, Rashi does not make the same comment there that he does here when Yehuda is speaking. In fact, he doesn’t comment on the phrase at all. However, Rashi’s logic still holds.

If we can infer that Yehudah was speaking harshly to Yosef, because he asked Yosef not to be angry, presumably we can also infer that Avraham must have been speaking harshly to Master of the World, since he felt the need to ask Him not to be angry. Moreover, while Yehudah might imagine that the fallible, human vizier of Egypt could become unjustifiably angry, even if he wasn’t intending to speak harshly, Avraham knew he was speaking to the One who is all good and all knowing, so he could not possibly imagine that God would be angry unjustifiably. He must have been speaking in a way that he knew might be legitimately offensive.

Both Avraham and Yehudah present us examples of someone standing up to a superior for what they believe to be right and having the courage to speak clearly and forcefully, not letting themselves be cowed by the power and stature of their listener; that listener, in Avraham’s case, being the Creator Himself. It is worth noting, however, that they both take care to preface their direct, even harsh arguments with words of appeasement, asking permission to speak, and saying, “please do not be angry.”

I think often when we find ourselves disagreeing with or upset by the actions or decisions of those in power, even of God Himself, we tend to pursue one of two options. Either we don’t say anything and we silence our misgivings out of fear, out of respect, or out of diffidence, or we go to the opposite extreme and openly rebel, couching our critique in attacks and insults. The righteous path is to follow neither of these extremes, but to follow the example of Avraham and Yehudah. They voiced their concerns forcefully, even harshly, as should we. However, we must also follow their example in making clear that no disrespect is intended, and furthermore, that we seek to remain in the good graces of the one to whom we are speaking, whether we are speaking to another human being or—lehavdil—to the Holy One, blessed be He.

May we all be blessed with the courage to speak up for what is right and the graciousness to always do so in a spirit of respect and love.

Rabbi Garth Silberstein